You know those times when you have so much going on, so many things in your head and your heart and your life that you just really don’t know what to do with it all and you just kind of close the door so that people don’t have to see/hear/witness you thinking and talking in circles about nothing at all?
That’s where I’m at.
It’s the funnel that is all blocked off because everything is trying to get through at once. In the past few months we went on our first international, child-free vacation. (You can read what I wrote for Babble about it here.)
We moved five blocks from where we were and re-discovered, similar to getting married, that the real work in moving starts after the big day. (So far we’ve created a kitchen peninsula, mounted a small entertainment center on the wall, and begun the third “big project”: a shelving unit that will allow us to unpack half a dozen boxes full of books. Don’t even ask me about the “little projects.”)
Manchild finished first grade and we are learning what “summer vacation” means — without actually going on any vacations. (It’s harder than I expected, people. “Summer Break,” my eye. What I’m feeling is “Summer-Break-Me-in-Pieces-Trying-to-Balance-Fun-and-Rest-and-Work.”)
Little Miss turned 2 and has been growing into a chatty little trouble-maker whom we can’t get enough of.
And there have been many little mental and emotional upheavals that have left me craving time to just sit and think. Both running and writing have fallen farther down the priority list than they have been in years, and although they are still happening, there are no clear goals or a sense of urgency for now.
Because for now, we are getting our house in order. We are cruising through some things and charging through others. We are shaking things up so that when it all settles, it will — we hope — settle in an orderly, peaceful manner.
And with all that going on, mostly what I want to do is sit and absorb, and think, and feel.