Manchild has been in school for a month now. We are settling in. He no longer gets teary on the weekends thinking about going back on Monday. He doesn’t complain that it is too long or too much work. In fact, he hasn’t had a discouraging word to say about school in at least two weeks. He gets up and ready for school without dragging his feet and is chipper and friendly to everyone at pickup.
But home is different with him gone. It’s good. I like it. I get to play with Squish a lot. And Squish gets to “love” on his sister a lot. (She fights back ferociously, of course.) We read stories and play games. Squish is an excellent chess opponent – if only because he doesn’t care enough about it to get upset at the prospect of losing. He’s taken to getting out of the stroller and “running” with me for the last mile – and is determined to do it even if it means a lot of stops and starts.
I love having time with Squish and Little Miss and to see how they get along with just the two of them. I’ve been trying to embrace it and enjoy it and relax. And I feel that I have been mostly successful at that.
However. In some ways, three is easier than two. A friend asked me just before school started if it would be harder or easier for me to do my writing once Manchild went to school. I didn’t know. I could see it going either way. But now we are a month in, and things have definitely tilted toward the “harder” end of the spectrum. When Little Miss is asleep – when the boys would normally play together and I might be able to sneak in some writing time – I’m Squish’s playmate instead. And by the end of the day it’s pretty much all I can do to eek out one more post – either here or on Babble – before calling it a night.
And it is a wee bit discouraging. I love to write and I have lists and lists of interesting things I want to write about. I’ve been back in the archives here on MotherRunner recently and been happy with the work I’ve done in the past. But now . . . I feel like I’m slogging through and unable to put my best foot forward as fully or as frequently as I’d like.
So friends, I feel like I need to apologize. For this. This blog. I have such high hopes for it. Such grand expectations. And yet it consistently falls to the bottom of my cup so that by the end of the day the things that I have been planning to write about have settled out, never to be drunk. Which is another way of saying my best ideas are still just ideas. And you remember how I asked for your input on how to make MotherRunner better? Well, I appreciate your input. I am grateful for it and for you. I hope the improvements will come. But it’s going to be a slow process. Very slow.
I hope you’ll stay with me.
This week on Babble:
How do we go about raising strong daughters? Here are 10 ideas. Do you have anything to add?
Making eye contact isn’t always a good idea.
The New York City Marathon is just a few weeks away, and security has been tightened. Will it squash the lovefest? Or enhance it?