Feed the Beast
Two weeks ago I smiled smugly as I watched my children and their cousins swarm around mobile devices of all kinds in an attempt to figure out how to get a piece of candy hanging from a rope into the mouth of a small green creature named, delightfully, Omnom. I was acquainted, of course, with this endeavor. “Cut the Rope” was, in fact, the first game I purchased (with Manchild’s money) for my phone. I have, in fact, cut many ropes, popped many bubbles, deflated many air cushions in the service of Omnom’s insatiable appetite. But I was always truly above such things. I did it as a show of love and support for my children. That is all.
One week ago I would have been happy if no one fed Omnom ever again and he died of starvation. He sits there lazily on his platform or whatever, waiting for someone to figure out which rope to cut first so that the candy will bounce off the right platform, at the right angle, into the correct magic hat, high enough to reach the correct bubble, which will then allow the player to possibly (!) get 3 (!) more stars on his quest for the 56 (!) stars he needs to unlock the Valentine’s Box. Which box holds more secrets that
Manchild the player will then speak incessantly about for the next several days. But if no one feeds Omnom, then maybe the endless chatter will shrivel up and die too. Maybe? I could only hope.
Today I’d had enough. It needed to stop. All this talk of stars and boxes and the mysteries lying beneath that padlock and chain. So, I cut the rope. Many, many times. I popped bubbles. I deflated air cushions. I avoided spikes. I did what it took to make it stop.
And . . . I rocked it. I rocked it so hard that we got the last 17 stars needed to unlock the Valentine’s Box. The secret of the Valentine’s Box: the candy is in two pieces. The player must bring the two halves together to make a whole before it is allowed into
The Tunnel of Love Omnom’s mouth. How romantic! Speaking of which: I love this game. Me and the boys sitting down together, mapping out our strategy, collecting stars, feeding a helpless little green creature who loves candy, texting Micah about our progress throughout the day?
Three gold stars in my book.
ps Sara: It was so fun to meet you yesterday! It totally rocked my world and made my day/week/month/year . . . I could die happy. So thanks for saying hi.