I sit at my laptop every night and try to write. Even if I’m tired. Even if I should be vacuuming. Even if it makes more sense to just turn on a show and relax. I try to write anyway.
I tell myself that people are waiting for my post. I tell myself it is important for me to do this. I tell myself that someday it will pay off. I’m not sure any of those things are true, and lately l’ve been wondering why I keep writing and posting and pushing myself to go when I no longer have any idea what my destination is.
Today I was reminded. I saw the piece of paper where Micah wrote, “My dear Ingenium*, I am here I am listening.” It’s been hanging on the wall for over a year, but I think today was the first time I’ve actually seen it in months. I heard Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat Pray Love) say those words on a podcast a while ago, and they quickly became a mantra of sorts for me. Because if you want to be good at something, you have to put in the time. You have to prove to the god of genius that you are serious about what you are doing. And if you do, she will come talk to you. But if she’s going to talk to you, you need to be there, working at it, tirelessly, consistently.
So I sit. I write (or try). And I hope that eventually Ingenium and I will become friends. And she will talk to me. Because here I am, night after night, ready to listen to her.
*feel free to correct my Latin if you know Latin . . . .