I realized recently how little time Manchild and I have left in the life we’ve been living the past 5 years. The life where we are together most of the day, where he is my sidekick and antagonist, where we spend the afternoons working together and trying not to get in each other’s way.

Not only will we be adding another child to our family, but a few weeks after that I’ll be flying to Utah with the baby for two weeks. And the week I get back he will start school. That’s the big change: School. A full day of school.

It makes me nervous to have him away from me for so long. I worry about all the other influences that will creep into his life. I worry that he’ll have a hard time making friends. I worry that school won’t be everything he hopes it will be. Just like every other mother.

And I wonder if he’ll feel left out when Squish and the baby and I go to a museum or a park while he’s at school. I wonder if he’ll be sad not to be home with the baby when she is still so little. I wonder how Squish will handle having his┬ásidekick gone for so long. I wonder if they’ll miss each other.

There are, of course, things to look forward to as well. I look forward to volunteering at his school. I hope to surprise him every now and then with a lunch date. I’m sure school holidays will have much more meaning and relevancy to us and we’ll have more reasons to celebrate when we’re all together. And it will be interesting to see how we all get along with new groups of friends, new parents to interact with, new functions to attend together.

I’m excited for this new phase of our lives. I think we are ready for it. Manchild has been bored to tears at home for months now. But realizing how quickly it is coming, and how little time (and energy) I have to spend with just him in the next two months, makes me a little sad.

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