Note on Family Tranisitions

I was pretty much freaking out when I was as pregnant with Squish as I am pregnant with this little girl now. Two kids? TWO KIDS? What was I thinking? Especially since the baby would be so tiny during the winter. We’d never go anywhere. We’d be stuck in our tiny apartment all day. It would be awful.

And then Squish was born and I quickly forgot what it was like to be a mom of one. We did everything we used to do. Manchild walked more, I wore Squish like a necklace, and life went on.

So I’m not too nervous about adding another little baby. I figure we’ll adjust pretty quickly. Manchild will start school and I’ll just have two kids most of the day. And before I know it, all three of them will be entertaining each other and my job will be so much easier. Right? . . . Right?

But tell me: what were transitions like for you? From what I’ve gathered, most women say adding the first baby is the hardest – and I agree. How about after that? Was two harder than three? Or vice versa? What about you moms of 4 or more?

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7 Comments

  1. The first was definitely the most difficult. The 2nd was the absolute easiest. The third was difficult for me but that was not because of the addition of another person but because of an unrelenting horrible case of thrush & yeast that last for more than 3 months. If we had not had that, I don’t think the adjustment to three would have been difficult at all.

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    lizzie Reply:

    Good to know. It is always interesting to find out what you are capable as you have opportunities to stretch yourself!

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  2. The first was wonderful for me…having been the oldest of 8, a nanny for 10 years, and wanting to be a Mana for a lot of years before it finally happened, likely helped with that transition. Plus, our baby was an “easy” one. Two wasn’t a problem. Second baby was even more easy going and go-with-the-flow. Now, it’s two weeks today since number 3 came along, but so far it’s been a very easy and smooth transition. My first just turned 4 and second is just under 2.5 and they are much more able helpers or understand when I have to stop and nurse the baby. They love her and are also great at running off to play together. I do sometimes wish I had another arm, or that there were a few more hours in each day, but overall each transition has felt natural. Good luck!

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    lizzie Reply:

    I agree that having one that is old enough to be “helpful” is nice. Manchild was 2 1/2 when Squish was born, which was a perfect age for him to run get a burp cloth or wipes or a diaper and to feel like he was part of the fun, and not that he was being neglected or getting in the way.

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  3. Oh, man, Lizzie, I’m feeling the same way as you did with number two. My mom (of 11) assured me that the biggest shock was going from no babies to one baby. The closer I get to the due date (two weeks!), the better I feel about having two little ones to run after rather than just one.

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    lizzie Reply:

    I’m sure you’ll do great, Rachel. And I think your daughter will probably be happy to help you out in anyway she can. It is also surprising how quickly they get to the point where they can play together and start to form a stronger relationship.

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  4. One was super hard, full time job to full time mom. Two was not too bad. Three was cake as soon as you accept the fact that you are out numbered. If you eliminate the complications of being a premie, four was barely noticeable. You’ll do great!

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    lizzie Reply:

    I guess a lot has to do with what else you have going on in your life and what your mindset is. I like your thought about just accepting that you are outnumbered and going with it. Thanks!

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  5. Cagesjamtoo (aka Sam)

    June 23rd, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    One not too bad. I was living with my parents and it was the summer so both were home to help. Two was also not too bad, he slept a lot and #1 was helpful. Three was harder. All the sudden you are out numbered. He was also hard to nurse so that added to the difficulty. Four wasn’t too bad despite being in a strange city, in someone else’s house, and moving back home a few weeks later. She took to nursing well and a good sleeper; a huge factor. Five rocked my world. Three kids in school that I had to get there every day, beginning of winter, hardest nurser, fifth floor walk up,…wow it was hard! Six was easy. He was the perfect baby and there were a lot of eager helpers.

    I’m sure you will be great. Just take it one day at a time. And be prepared to read a lot of stories while nursing and try to stay awake doing it :-).

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    lizzie Reply:

    Thanks Sam! It’s interesting for me to hear how much has to do with what else you have going on and the personality of the baby. I hadn’t really thought that much about it, I guess. It was mostly a numbers thing for me, but I think I need to start considering the possibility of colic and other things.

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  6. I thought one was easy. I really wanted him, which helped for sure. Two, we shall see. Not sure how the working part will go, since I do that during naptime right now, but other than that I’m not too worried. It’s true, having that little helper is so nice. Spence is just getting to that stage, right in time for it.

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    lizzie Reply:

    I’m sure fitting work in will be a little rocky at first, but it always amazes me what we are able to adapt to. It’s when they no longer nap that things get trickier. At least it did for me.

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  7. What a wonderful liettr! Lizzie is such a beauty and has been one of my favorites for some time. I keep saying some day, some day, I will have one of those wonderful pups. Congratulations Tom, I caught up with my husband in October. Happy, Haappy.

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