Note on Clinginess

I was 9 months pregnant with Squish. I’d been having contractions – not strong, but regular – for over a week and I kept telling myself that this was the contraction that would get the ball rolling for real. I was putting Manchild to bed (Micah was at a meeting that night), but the boy wouldn’t go. He wanted me. He wanted me to sing another song. He wanted to sit on my lap. He wanted another hug, another kiss.

I couldn’t help but think that it could be his last night as an only child. And maybe he was having some sort of premonition about it. So I stayed. I let him sit on my lap. I sang him song after song after song. I tried to give him everything I had to give with the hope that in the morning, or maybe the next night, or possibly the day after that, I’d be able to give him his little brother to see and to stroke.

It didn’t happen that way. Squish didn’t come for another week at least, and by then I was pretty tired of indulging the clinginess, though I tried to be patient and remember the huge change that was coming for all of us.

But now Squish is going through a similar thing. He needs me. He needs me to hold him. He needs me to lie down with him and kiss his cheek. He needs to put his arms around my neck. I don’t mind it.

But I’m wondering if it is more of a 2 1/2-year-old thing or more of an I’m-about-to-have-another-baby thing? Both the boys were 2 1/2 when they went through this phase, so age could be the thing, but then again, I’ve also been quite pregnant when they were 2 1/2, so that could be it, too. Anyone else have a similar experience?

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  1. Oh, I keep telling myself that’s why. Suddenly Wyatt is doing this “eeee!” sound, softish, whiney, and always accompanied by clinging and rubbing his head and just generally trying to suction himself to me.

    It’s been a few weeks, so I’m past the “oh-so-sweet” stage. 🙂 Trying to be understanding and get down on the floor and let him crawl into my lap for a bit. All the while hoping this is short lived.

    He’s 3.5, though. So. I don’t know what that means.


    lizzie Reply:

    Oh, amen. I bet that was a joy to let him crawl in your lap every time, when your lap was already half taken. Squish has been sick the past two days and it’s been the same story. I really want to give him that attention, but I (and the baby) also need a little bit more space.


  2. My daughter is 2 1/2 and my baby is 9 months and my big kid won’t leave my side!!!!


    lizzie Reply:

    So maybe it is a 2 1/2 thing? I hope it’s working out for you! It’s so hard to have two needy kids hanging on you all the time.


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