I have four sisters. And all of us are at different stages in our lives: single, engaged, newlywed, mother of a baby, and me, the relative veteran. In talking to them and hearing things through the grapevine, I’ve realized that I can so relate to pretty much everything they are going through. One night I laughed so hard with recognition that I cried. I think it would be fun to do a more thorough “snapshot” of our lives at the moment, just to compare where we are now with where we’ll be in a few years, but this will have to do for now.
I’m sure you haven’t heard this before, so let me be the first to say it: I can’t believe you are getting married! I might be tempted to say something about how young you are, but that would make me a hypocrite, so I won’t. What I will say is that I am excited for you and for Derek. I hope that as you are planning your wedding you keep a couple of things in mind: it is a special day and we all hope everything goes perfectly. But even if they don’t and even if you aren’t able to make it as lovely and beautiful and perfect as wedding days are “supposed” to be, you two will have a lot of days together that will be more perfect and more beautiful (and less stressful) than your wedding day. The trick is noticing them when they happen.
I’m looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks and helping with wedding plans in any way I can!
I heard about how Paul did more on his day off than you did in two months off. Or that is how you felt or something like that. Husbands are amazing, aren’t they? I, too, had many days of newly-married unemployment when I had nothing to do and spent all day trying to not do nothing. And mostly failing. And then having Micah show me how it was done. You’ll learn. I promise. But until then, glory in the bliss of newlywededness. Let the stars shine in your eyes for Paul. Be wowed by his ability to do just about everything. And then remember those thoughts and feelings and keep them saved up. They will come in handy at some point or another. I promise.
I’m glad you live close so that I can live the single life vicariously through you and also be grateful that I don’t actually have to live the single life for real. There have been many times when I’ve thought of how nice it would be to be single in the City . . . to stay out late, to crash at people’s apartments for a few hours and not have to worry that the kids are being annoying or are tired or hungry. I could go to brunch! I could push the buttons on the credit card machine without ruining someone’s day! I could go to that restaurant uptown and not feel like I was on the clock! And I am so glad you get to take advantage of that life and of all the City has to offer, unrestricted by 3-hour naptimes and 7:00pm bedtimes. I am also so glad that you are willing to take some of that time and spend it with me and my boys. It’s lovely to have real live adult conversations in the middle of the day, and also to have someone else to listen to the incessant rambling of the children with. It’s fun, eh?
Have you ever been in the situation where you are so tired, and you really feel like you just need to get a few more minutes of sleep, but you’ve discovered that your baby is mobile and totally not okay with that? I know I have! And have you ever spent a year home with a baby a wondered, Is this what being a stay-at-home-mom is? How do people do this? I need to get a job! I know I have! And have you ever felt utterly accomplished simply by showering and having the bed made before lunchtime? I know I have! But those days pass. The kid starts walking and talking and being able to play with other children. She’ll actually be able to play on the playground. And she’ll want to help make cookies. And she’ll insist you push her in the swing. And you’ll be so busy. You still might feel like you do nothing all day, but it won’t be because you actually did nothing. It will simply be because you didn’t have time to sit down for even a minute and that’s how you know you were busy. You won’t know what on earth you did, but you’ll know you were busy. And then you’ll wonder, How do stay-at-home-moms manage to do anything?
love you all,