Note on What’s Cool About Having a Girl

These “notes” are ideas for essays/longer posts. If you see one that you think would make a good essay/post or that you just want to see what I would do with it, please let me know in the comments or in an e-mail! I would love to take on a challenge like that and give you more of what you want.

–lizzie.

Several months ago, I wrote a post about some of the things I loved about having little boys. I planned to write another one the next week about what I looked forward to in having a daughter. But then I couldn’t think of anything. Anything besides having someone to watch chick flicks with someday. Not the clothes, not the hair, not the pink or the princess-y things. I was totally stumped. And now I’m having a girl, and while I’m excited to have a daughter and hopeful that I’ll be a good mom to her, I’m wondering if you could help me out. Those of you with daughters, what do you love about having girls? What is it about having girls gets you excited when your friend tells you she’s having one too?

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8 Comments

  1. I don’t have a girl, but I think of my relationship with my mom. She is absolutely my best friend. I love going to her for advice, because she’s been through it. I love hanging out with her. I love going to the gym with her. I love that she was such a role model for me. She’s smart, she’s beautiful, she’s strong, and I respect her in so many ways. And I one day want to have a daughter so that she might feel that way about me, too.

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    lizzie Reply:

    This is definitely something I want to aim for — being a role model, having that respect (and knowing it goes both ways), being close throughout our lives. Of course, I hope for that with my sons as well, but it would definitely be something different with a daughter.

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  2. Part of it is knowing that Anna will (most likely) be a mother some day too. I love seeing her rock her baby dolls or teddy bears and say, “Shhh. Shhh. Shhh” as she bounces and sways at the same time, exactly like you would with an infant. My friend Jocelyn wrote about this today here: http://beinglds.blogspot.com/2012/04/hard-work-of-motherhood.html

    But all girls are different, of course. My neice will have nothing to do with babies or princesses and much prefers scouting out bugs in her backyard to feed to the spiders she catches in a jar, or raising a butterfly from egg to caterpillar to chrysallis. But my sister still loves having a girl like that because she’s a part of her, just like your boys are a part of you.

    I think it’s true though, like Katy said, and as you mentioned in a post a while ago, that mothers and daughters can easily be close throughout their lives whereas it takes a little more work to stay that close to your sons. There’s a possibility I could see her give birth, which would be unlikely with daughters in law, and I know she’ll feel comfortable waking me up at 2AM to hold the baby. And I’m really looking forward to that relationship.

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    lizzie Reply:

    Thanks for commenting. You always have such good insight. It’s funny to try to imagine what it will be like to see my daughter rocking dolls to sleep (if she’s into that) because it does nothing for me. But I know that when it actually happens it will be just as precious for me as watching the boys with their cars and balls and trains.

    You always have such good things to say. 🙂

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  3. I have a boy 9 and a girl 7. At this age there is a distinct difference between the two. Where life is soo easy with my son (couldn’t care less about how he dresses, plays well by himself) He totally lives inside his imagination and sometimes I’m not sure how to connect with him there. my daughter is drauma to the max (loves fashion, loves food, very outwardly social) she constantly wants to be mentally connecting wi someone, wants to constantly be helping me with something. I have a closer and deeper relationship with her because she forces her way into your comfort zone continually. I am a loner and so is my son so we don’t connect as often. Every kid brings something into our lives that we never knew we couldn’t live without. Just wait! The blessings are piling up and ready to pour over you.

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    lizzie Reply:

    So interesting that they are so different! I guess it isn’t too crazy . . . the girls and boys in my family are totally different as well, but we all get along just great. I like that thought that ever kid brings something that we didn’t know we couldn’t live without. I’ll keep that in mind.

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  4. I love all the possibilities there are for girls! They really can do and be anything! I love that! My daughter (while still very young, not yet 2 yo), shows me, in no uncertain terms that, she is the master of her fate. She attempts to do everything her older brother does. She gets VERY defensive of her “goggies” (doggies=stuffed animals). She loves looking at real babies. I think I’m just fond of all little people but, having girls is a lot of fun!

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    lizzie Reply:

    That’ll be fun to see if my girl likes to run around with her brothers and be in the thick of the action. I kind of hope so.

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  5. Chad and I were talking about this on Sunday!

    Raising a boy has been so different for me than raising a girl was/is.
    I have a special relationship with both of them, but Noah is more interested in doing what his daddy does, he just really loves being with him and doing stuff with him. He always comes to me for cuddle time and reading and when he needs something, but to Chad for play time and running errands, most of the time.
    Kaiya ALWAYS chose to be with me over chad and she is naturally interested in doing what I am doing instead of what her dad is doing. So we spent more one on one time together.
    I absolutely love having a little boy, and I have learned more about how boys work and how they think differently, and act differently( at least on my childrens case). And we have a special relationship too.

    With kaiya I can understand her needs, emotions and thoughts easier than chad can, even though I am more of a tomboy by nature and she is more feminine. So it was harder for chad to understand that party of kaiya, where a relationship with Noah has been very easy for him. He also has a special relationship with kaiya but in a different way than he does with Noah.
    I guess what I am saying is that the relationship with my daughter is different than it is with my son, not better, but different because she’s naturally shown more interest in being with me, we spend a lot of time together.

    With Noah I am in constant awe of the things that are naturally interesting to him. He’s sweet and not as demanding as kaiya was as a baby. I love cultivating his interests, they are definitely different than kaiyas.

    It’s special to have a girl because we have the opportunity to teach them to be strong, smart and believe in themselves. We have to do that with all of our children obviously. All in all, I find joy in raising them both, for different reasons.

    [Reply]

    lizzie Reply:

    It is so good for me to hear from moms who have boys and girls. And I am really looking forward to seeing if I have a little shadow in this girl. Thanks for your response!

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  6. Cagesjamtoo (aka Sam)

    April 20th, 2012 at 11:00 am

    I totally agree with what the others have said. Another thing awesome about girls is watching their relationship with their brothers. All my kids have a sibling next to them that is the opposite gender. Those bro/sis combinations all have a special relationship that is fun and interesting to watch. You will probably see that with Squish and this baby more.

    Having a girl also gives you a perspective of how you saw things at their age. I think a mother can learn a lot about herself looking at life through their daughter’s eyes.

    I’m not a girley/princessey/fashion conscious kind of person, but enjoy all my girls for their sweet, tender, and unique way they are.

    [Reply]

    lizzie Reply:

    I hadn’t given a whole lot of thought to the sibling dynamic until I read your comment, and now I am looking forward to seeing how it turns out. I am definitely interested to see how Squish bonds with the baby.

    And I think that is a great point, too, about seeing myself through my daughter’s eyes . . . for better or worse. I have a lot to look forward to.

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  7. Something that I love about having a girl, which was a hard thing for me to wrap my head around, is seeing her with her dad. It is so sweet to see their relationship and how much she loves and adores him. She has him wrapped around her finger. As I’m sure your little girl will too.

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    lizzie Reply:

    Oh, Meg. Micah has been looking forward to having a girl for as long as we knew we were going to reproduce together. As we were walking to the train after the ultrasound, he kept noticing these little baby girls that I totally missed. He’s a goner for this girl for sure. 🙂

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  8. What’s cool about having a girl –

    My daughter is 3 and a half, I can’t imagine my life without her. My nanny, (93) told me she will become a big comfort and a good friend to me. I thought yeah “ok” but even at this young age it’s true. We enjoy lunch dates together. She enjoys copying my behaviour, hair, make up, clothing, I think it hit me when she was about 1 “oh my god, u have a daughter!” Not a baby, a living breathing influential thing !
    I’m very aware of myself, behavior, role model, anxieties.
    She’s utterly the most beautiful and precious thing I’ve ever seen, but she’s feisty and has a mad temper (thanks dad) and is so clever and bright and aware. I could never imagine having a boy. (I’d like another child) but my girl. My girl feels special. I can’t wait to watch her florish and grow and turn into a beautiful girl and young woman and mother.

    [Reply]

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