I ran my marathon just over a month ago and suddenly I have a lot more time to to re-examine my life and goals and priorities. It’s been rough. Maybe I should perpetually be in marathon training. You see, I’ve realized that some of goals that I thought I had so clearly defined have become very fuzzy. Some things that I’ve been working really hard for have, possibly, stalled. And in some ways, I just don’t have a clue what I really want, or how to get to where I think I want to be. It’s so tiring I think running a marathon might be easier.
But the somewhat difficult realizations have also given me a chance to reflect on the things that are going well, the goals I am achieving, the progress I am making, and where my real priorities lie. Amidst the bits of discouragement and confusion, there is much to be grateful for and encouraged by. Like being able to wipe snotty noses all day. No, seriously. They are my kids, and I’d much rather wipe their noses than leave it to someone else. (Plus maintaining a clean nose on a feisty, albeit cold-stricken, toddler gives me an odd sense of accomplishment. There’s a pile of tissues I can point to at the end of the day to say, “Look what I did!”)
And also, like watching Manchild learn that good things come to people who do good things. (And being able to play games on Dad’s iPhone is, for sure, the greatest good thing ever. Totally worth cleaning up all the toys every night without being asked.)
Like getting comments that let me know my babblings on this blog are helpful to others besides me.
Like seeing the boys fight like brothers.
Like being surrounded by inspiring and creative people, who dream as big as I do and live lives that are as full of potty breaks and tired tantrums as they are of big dreams.
Like seeing Squish climb over the railing of his used-to-be-crib. It’s nice to know that doing things the hard way — and finding joy in it — is something that runs in the family.
Like being married to someone who is more excited about my potential than I am.
Like knowing that even if I never get to where I think I want to be, I will never regret the things I am doing right now. I may possibly regret the things I am not doing right now, but that’s a different issue entirely.
I don’t think I can ask much more of my life right now. It is already up to the gills (or maybe the wattle?) with things to be grateful for.