I came across my notes from the run show the other day. And I realized I’m doing very poorly with some of the “goals” I made. I say “goals” because, actually, they weren’t goals at all. It was more of a, “Yeah, I should do better at that,” kind of thing. But then I promptly forgot about it and went on my merry way, not being a better person like I meant to be.
During the women’s forum at the run show, there was a little discussion about body image. One of the first things I wrote down was, “Do I criticize other women as I am walking down the street?” The answer now, as it was then, is, “Um, yeah. Sometimes.” I think things like, “She should not be wearing that.” Or, “How did she snag him?” Or other things that I am too ashamed to write about here. But this clearly reflects much more on my own insecurities than it does on the actual state of affairs for these people. (Because I obviously know nothing about fashion and am also still — 7 years later — wondering how I snagged Micah.)
So I’m recommitting myself to replacing Judgmental Lizzie with Complimentary Lizzie. You know, the me that thinks, “She pulls that color combination off nicely.” Or, “They look really happy together. I hope they are on their way to share an ice cream cone.”
This recommitment extends to my running as well. Of course. So instead of thinking things like, “She must be a newbie!” I will try to think things like, “I hope this run goes well for her!” Or, instead of, “I could run that fast, too, if I weren’t pushing two kids in a double jogger!” I could think, (or even say outloud), “Way to go! Push it up the hill! You can do it!” (Apparently I become very exclamatory when I run.)
I’m hopeful that as I stop making everything inside my head be about me, I’ll be able to stop making everything outside my head be about me, too. Probably a good idea, huh?