This is what “getting ready to go” sounds like in our house these days.
Me (to Manchild): Okay, Buddy, let’s be ready to leave in 15 minutes. You need to use the restroom, wash your hands, and get your shoes on. Okay?
Manchild (throwing couch pillows on to the floor): Mo-om, are we going to be back in the morning, or in the afternoon?
Me: Probably not until afternoon.
Manchild (jumping on the couch): Oh, but Mom, I want to be back in the morning.
Me: I don’t think we can get done with everything we want to do before noon, Buddy. Sorry. But you can watch the time change from AM to PM on my phone, okay? I’ll set the alarm. Now can you go use the restroom?
Me (to Squish): You need to your shoes, too, Little Man. Can you go find your shoes?
Squish comes back 10 seconds later with both his shoes. I put them on his feet.
Manchild (rolling around on the couch): Mo-om, wouldn’t that be silly if we lived on the even and the odd side of the street? Heh heh heh heh heh. Sometimes I think it would be fun to live on the even and the odd side. Maybe we could have a bridge and then we could live on the even and the odd side.
Me (packing up the diaper bag): That would be silly. I wonder what it would be like to have a bridge going over the street. Okay, now can you go use the restroom?
Manchild (jumping off the couch onto the pillows): Mo-om, do you know that sometimes the train goes on the split tracks and it goes from one track to the other track. Yeah, Mom, I think it does that sometimes.
Me (putting on my shoes): Yeah, sometimes the local train splits off from the express track, huh? Now, can you please go use the restroom and get your shoes on so we can go?
Manchild: Mo-om, why did a man fall onto the tracks one time?
Me (putting Squish in the carrier): I don’t know. He might have been sick. Now can you go use the restroom? We’re just about ready to go.
Manchild: But why was he sick, Mom?
Me: I don’t know, Buddy, but we’re leaving now, and I need you to go use the restroom and put your shoess on. Please.
Manchild (running to the restroom): Oh, don’t leave without me Mom! I will hurry. I’m almost ready. Wait for me, Mom. Wait!