A few weeks ago, Micah and I were folding clothes and watching tv. An ad for eyeshadow guaranteed to give you that smokey eye look came on.
“Why don’t you have smokey eyes?” Micah joked.
“Because you don’t want me to.”
“What? I never said that. You can do whatever you want.”
The conversation became both more of a joke and more serious over the next minute or so and ended when I said, “This is quickly becoming a blog post.”
The truth of the matter is this: I married a man who thinks I don’t need any make-up. I didn’t wear much, if any, when we were dating, and with his blessing I have stayed relatively free of it since then. On occasion I think I’d like to try something a little bit different — like mascara or tinted lip gloss — but smokey eyes are a little bit beyond me. I think they would suit me fine, but I am a little worried about changing Micah’s perception of me. And I fear that with my experience applying make-up, I would probably look like a victim of a blow to the face rather than like a smokin’ hot vixen.
This goes both ways. I’ve never seen Micah wear a pair of blue jeans. When I asked about his reasoning for this so many years ago, he said he didn’t think they were very comfortable. He’ll look at a pair every now and then, and while I know he could make a pair of blue jeans look really good, I’m also rooting for him to hold on to that little thing that makes him different. Don’t give in! I think. I love that you don’t wear blue jeans!
And so I wonder . . . how much do we hold each other back? How much do we push each other forward? If I had worn make-up when we were dating, would Micah have been as interested in me? Would I be sporting smokey eyes on our date nights? Would it even be a big deal that he doesn’t wear jeans if we hadn’t specifically talked about it during our courtship?
There are many aspects of our lives that we encourage each other to change and grow, of course. I might still be a ramen-loving lady if I’d married someone else. He may have never run more than it takes to play a game of Ultimate. (Then again, I might not have either.) We both may have found our way to New York without each other, but maybe not.
Anyway, I’m curious about if there is anything about your spouse/significant other that they sometimes wish they could change, but don’t because you love it about them. Is there anything you sometimes think about changing yourself, but hesitate because of your spouse? Or are we the only ones? (If we are, there is something very wrong with all of you.) (Hahaha.)