Maybe it’s the cold. Or the gray days. Or possibly the holiday cheer in the air. Maybe it’s because I’ve been spending more time by myself with the boys and less time with Micah. Or maybe it’s because I had a birthday recently and now I’m feeling old.* Whatever it is, something has got me wondering . . . why don’t I wear mascara? Or maybe eye-shadow? Would it kill me to put a little bit of lip gloss on every now and then? Maybe it would. I haven’t tried it in years.
Seriously, I have worn mascara only a handful of times since Micah and I got married, nearly 6 years ago. And I haven’t really felt the need to put any on until this week. Unfortunately, I tossed the tube of Mary Kay mascara I’ve been holding onto all these years when we moved a few months ago, and now it seems like an almost insurmountable task to get another tube.
Shall I tell you how long it’s been since I wore eyeshadow? I think it was my wedding day. But suddenly I’m examining ads with women’s faces and trying to figure out if that color would look good on me and if I should maybe attempt that look. Or maybe I should settle for getting my sister to teach me how to apply eyeshadow to start with.
And I’m quite certain I’ve never bought anything but lip balm since we’ve been married. Pathetic. Simply pathetic.
When I put it that way, it sounds like I snagged my man and then just let myself go, doesn’t it? Rest assured that I have Micah’s full support in going au naturale (well, except that I never gave up on foundation, of course). He was always a little skeptical of my wearing mascara. (“I don’t think you need it. You already look like you’re wearing it.”) But now I actually do feel like I’m letting myself go. Perhaps I’ve reached the point where I can play the tired/frazzled/hurried mom too convincingly and I should start trying to play the calm/cool/together mom and/or the lady of the house and/or the sexy wife. I’ve already decided that I’m done with the pixie cut because I feel like I blend in too well with the 3 males that I live with, so that’s a start. But I kind of want to jump start my leap into femininity rather than wait for it to slowly grow on me. At least I think I do.
I’m hesitant to go out and stock my makeup bag right away because 1. I’m worried that this is a whim. In another week or two I’ll be past it and not care in the least about wearing makeup. 2. I am kind of overwhelmed by the thought of trying to select the best colors of eyeshadow and lipstick for me and my everyday activities. I could spend an hour in the makeup aisle and get so discouraged that I’d just walk away and say it isn’t worth it. And 3. I’m slightly afraid that I’m going to find out that I’m just not somebody who can wear makeup. I’ll put it on, look in the mirror, and think, “What am I playing at. I can’t pull this off,” and then I’ll wash it right off.
Advice? Encouragement? Discouragement? Reality checks?
*I don’t feel any older than I did before my birthday, just for the record